My mother left me this year. Like me, she was also a big fan of Shah Rukh Khan. Just now, the first song from Shah Rukh's upcoming film was released. Last the trailer was out. This is the first movie that will release after my mother's departure.
The reason why I have loved Shah Rukh so much and still do is because of the countless smiles he brought to my family, especially my mother. She would ask me for the latest news of him. She made a lot of duas for him. To her, Abram was the cutest child (after me I'm sure). She would ask me if a new photo of Abram is posted or not. And she would also feel jealous of Abram because he is so much loved. She had lost her mother when she was just a baby and Abram must get love of two mothers and a father. She loved that adorable face of Abram so much that I would leave his photo on the television in her hospital room. Nurses would glance with curiosity but never asked anything.
She was my partner in watching KKR matches too. She would never get tired of praying in that last over when a match could go either way. She would stay up with me all morning long to watch the matches. She felt bad to miss the final match in 2012 because she was sick and hospitalized. But our luck was good that she was shifted to a room where there was a television so we watched the victory parade live the next day. She had the biggest smile ever. Then last year we watched the final together and she got up from her chair clapping with her sweet smile when Chawla hit the winning runs. She would come up with the best names for players. She had a great sense of humor. Unfortunately she couldn't watch any match this year. In fact, she was on life support and an hour away from being officially declared dead when KKR lost their last match this year.
She would feel bad for me when I would not get replied by Shah Rukh. And she felt most terrible when I couldn't meet Shah Rukh last year but she felt the most happy to see Shah Rukh wearing a tie I gifted him at an event. In summer this year after my mother left, a woman who I fondly call my mommy, gave me a
pleasant surprise to make me smile. She met Shah Rukh in Bulgaria and
requested him to record a video message for me. It was extremely sweet
for Shah Rukh to keep his word to her for me. When I saw the video, the
first thought I had was I wish I could show it to my mother.
We used to watch his movies in theater together. That's one of the times, I would see her enjoy something immensely. Watching Shah Rukh on the big screen gave her a lot of joy. She would forget all her worries and sadness for those 2.5 hours in that dark hall. Happy New Year was the last film she saw in theater and also the last film she saw on television this year. Whenever we would go out, of course Shah Rukh's songs would be the top choice during the journeys I have taken with her. Her favorite album was the My Name Is Khan album.
Her favorite movie of Shah Rukh was Kabhi Alvida Naa
Kehna, Veer Zaara, Mohabbatein, Kal Ho Na Ho, Devdas and Kabhi Khushi
Kabhi Ghum. She would never grow tired of watching these movies. In
2010, when MNIK released, she was sick but still went to watch it a week
after its release. It was the last movie that I saw with my whole
family. After that, our lives went through drastic changes which led up to this huge emptiness in my life.
I am recalling all these while tears run down my eyes and listening to the beautiful track Gerua. My mother would have loved to watch this film and surely, this song would have been her favorite one. It won't be the same anymore without her this time and in future...it will be incomplete. I don't know how to deal with incompleteness.
